I Went On Holiday And All I Got Was…
A lousy church clock? An Eiffel Tower keyring? A Bob Marley dreadlock hat?
We have all three. As you probably know, we’re kind of into travel. When we’re not talking about it, writing about it or dreaming about it, we’re doing it. Travelling, that is. Now, like most offices we are contractually obliged to bring back for our co-workers at least one of the following: A.) Fudge from Cornwall B.) Macaroons from Paris and C.) Hersheys or another inferior-to-Cadbury’s type chocolate treat from the USA. But we have another little tradition, and that is, we must, without fail, add to The Hideously Tacky Souvenir Collection, or face public ridicule and imminent unemployment.
After years of amassing our triumphant array of terrible tack, we thought it was high time we showed our lucky readers just exactly what we’re been hiding in our cupboards. So here, immortalised (perhaps unwisely) forever in the blogosphere, is our bad souvenir collection. Welcome to the world of the kitsch, the silly and the downright weird. You’re welcome.
Sam’s leather camel
When asked for the story behind her souvenir, Sam replied that ‘she was in a rush’ and ‘it was the cheapest thing she could find’. With an attitude like that, it’s lucky she makes a good cup of tea.
Eve’s Bob Marley hat
Brought back from a Barbados holiday by yours truly, this rather delightful item consists of a knitted hat in Jamaican colours, from which hang odd, spidery dreadlocks. It’s about three sizes too small for any adult head, so if your small child desperately covets dreadlocks – do get in touch.
Anna’s clock
What’s baby pink, informative and triumphantly plastic? It can only be this kitsch-tastic clock all the way from Marrakesh! Anna searched every souk in town for a suitably tack-heavy treat, and came back with what can only be described as the Elton John of clockery. That may or may not be a real word.
Alice’s duck oven mitt
We’re not sure that this even qualifies as a Truly Tacky Souvenir, as the conditions of the title deem that the item in question must be both a.) Useless and b.) Hideous. This oven mitt from Guatemala is neither. But Alice maintains that it deserves its place amonst the holiday dross, so in the cupboard it goes!
Yvonne’s Mexican man shot glass
What’s better than drinking tequila out of a tall shot glass? Drinking tequila out of a tall shot glass with a small Mexican man hanging off the side of it, of course. Yvonne picked up this beauty during a two-week Mexico holiday with her husband. By the look of this picture, he’s got competition.
Alice’s Amsterdam tulip
Amsterdam and tulips are like Batman and Robin; they belong together. After a recent trip to Amsterdam, Alice brought back this wooden tulip. Clearly Alice has far too much taste for a competition like this, as again, this souvenir is quite nice. However, she’s clawed back a few points by ensuring that the item is completely useless – hurrah!
That’s all we’ve got time for this week – perhaps if you’re really lucky, we’ll reveal some more gems from our box of treats in the near future!
Have you got any terrible souvenirs from your time abroad? If so, tell us about them!
Disclaimer: despite appearances, there are some men in our office. They just hadn’t done their hair on the morning of these pictures.
